scars [o]

i'm carrying your light

That's the problem with Bucky- he's used to things that nobody should be used to. Things like pain, like people trying to take a swing at him. He's used to the hungry stares of the people downtown, used to drunks lying passed out on the pavement. He seems to think that because he's "used to it" it doesn't matter that it's a problem. "I don't know, a doctor? Where else?" Chase snaps before he can stop himself, angry that Bucky doesn't seem to get why this is an issue. He immediately feels bad for lashing out, and he opens his mouth to apologize when Bucky's words hit him and his brain stumbles. "Why wouldn't they know anything about...?"

"You...didn't get your arm from a doctor..." he realizes, saying the words quietly, and mostly to himself to repeat the information. He's had questions about Bucky this entire time, ones that he's been too afraid to ask, but suddenly there are a thousand more. Chase has inferred a lot of things about Bucky and his past in their short time together, but this seems a lot worse than anything he'd thought of. If he didn't get his arm from any doctor, where had it come from? Bucky had started to say something...the HB- Chase's brain immediately autocompletes the fragment to HBES, but he ignores it. That's just his paranoia about what could be happening back home. Besides, they weren't in the business of replacing arms (or...taking them?), or, at least, to Chase's knowledge, they aren't. They're still focused on killing half-bloods. They wouldn't care about a human like Bucky. It occurs to Chase that he doesn't really know if Bucky even is a human, but it's statistically more likely, and he's too afraid to ask after his last mistake.

Chase pretends to ignore his discoveries about Bucky as they keep walking, but it's clear he's uneasy. He's a little tense, and though he relaxes a little when Bucky talks about why he's in town, there's still a tightness to his muscles that lingers. He's not walking as close to Bucky as he was before, either, and it's not because he's afraid, but now he is a little more put off by the man. "That's pretty cool," he says, sounding perhaps too interested in an attempt to cover his otherwise noticeably different behavior. Chase doesn't like the word mercenary. He doesn't like the way Bucky uses it so casually. "Has anything ever happened while you were guarding somebody, or is it always just rich people being paranoid?" He mentally slaps himself. That came out a little more rude than he had intended. 

i'm carrying your light

Chase nods at Bucky's explanation, faking acceptance of it, when truly, he doesn't really believe a word.  No, he doesn't know anything about the army, but he still feels like doctors should know how to fix Bucky's arm, even if it was provided by the army. Aren't there therapies and treatments for veterans? Besides, HB-whatever the rest of the acronym was doesn't sound like any department of the army Chase has ever heard of before. He can't say for sure whether Bucky is lying or not, but it seems likely to him. Either way, Bucky doesn't need to know that Chase thinks that, at least, he doesn't need to know just yet.

He'd give his tail to know what the rest of HB is supposed to be. He still thinks that the idea of HBES is only lingering because of his own worry, and yet, he's still wondering whether that's what Bucky was about to say. That's not really possible, though, is it? He wonders if he'll work up the courage to ask, since it keeps bothering him.

"Yikes," Chase says. "And you're just...totally unfazed by that, huh? Wow." He makes sure to sound impressed, rather than worried, but there's probably a hint of something in his voice that betrays it against his will. He scrubs his face with his left hand for a moment, then moves it to the back of his neck with a sigh as he shoves his right into his pocket.

"Alright, I'm sorry about this," he starts, uncertainly, but it's going to eat at him if he doesn't ask. "I'm not buyin' it. You don't have to be honest with me, since, y'know, we've only just met, but...it's been bothering me." He laughs a little, but it's nervous. "It sounds stupid now that I think about it, but you weren't gonna say HBES, were you? It's just the only thing I can think of." He exhales again, feeling like an idiot. "Oh, wow, that really does sound ridiculous. You don't have to answer that, I'm just being stupid."

i'm carrying your light

"Oh," is all Chase says once he hears Bucky's answer. Something seizes Chase's chest when Bucky confirms his suspicion. It's easy for him to explain to himself why the thought of Bucky being involved with the HBES unnerves him. It means that either Bucky is a halfblood, like him, though, that can't be too likely, since they've given him an arm. (They could have taken it away in the first place if that's the case, but Chase can't figure out why they would give it back.) On the other hand- maybe he's some sort of agent or ally to them. Maybe they gave him the arm so he could hurt halfbloods with it. That should be a little far fetched, even to Chase, though, right? 

He fumbles for a while when he hears Bucky's question. It is a pretty good question, actually. Why had he asked? The problem with answering honestly was that it'd reveal he was a halfblood, and at this point, there's a chance that Bucky isn't the type to really take that all too kindly. He asked because he wondered if Bucky was affiliated with them, and now that he still doesn't know the answer, he doesn't really know what to do from here.

"Just...wondering," he says, deliberately vague. He doesn't really expect Bucky to tolerate it, but doesn't elaborate anyway. "So, do you work for them?" He's trying to make his own question sound casual, like he's human and couldn't care less what they're doing to countless halfbloods, but if the answer is yes, he might have to book it. "Did they make your arm?" he asks, though what he wants to know is if they took it away in the first place. It's a few moments before he realizes a lot of the questions he's asked are really insensitive. "You really don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable- I won't take it personally."

i'm carrying your light

Chase raises an eyebrow at Bucky's answer to his first question, getting a feeling that it's more complicated than the other is letting on. He was far too quick to reject the idea for it to be so simple, and though that also leaves Chase curious, he lets it go. It doesn't seem like Bucky is lying, even if Chase is fairly certain he's leaving something out. It seems clear that Bucky is bothered by whatever it may be, judging by how nervous he is talking about it, and for once, Chase feels like it knows enough to keep quiet. There are things he's been keeping to himself, too, after all, things he doesn't want to talk about. Honestly, he's already asked too much of Bucky, anyway.

His eyes widen when Bucky slips though, and his mind latches onto the words that the man instantly tries to cover up. "Tore off?" he echoes, stopping in his tracks and staring at Bucky with fear in his eyes. Bucky didn't mean to say it and Chase certainly wasn't meant to hear it, but what slips most often is the truth, and the thought of that being Bucky's truth terrifies Chase. "W-" he starts, but his voice shakes, the words get tangled around his fear and he has to swallow before speaking again. "W-why would they do that?" And Chase had heard stories and rumours and been given his fair share of threats but this seems so much worse and so much more cruel than anything he could have imagined the HBES were capable of. He starts thinking of his mom, and how she's alone at home because of him, and they could know what she is because of him, and if she gets hurt, or killed, it'll all be his fault and-

He sniffles, and it's pathetic and weak the way he's just standing there with tears threatening to spill out of his eyes but he does it anyway. He tries to wipe the water from his eyes, reminded of the not-so-nice words bullies used to send his way whenever he cried, and he's embarrassed about breaking down in front of Bucky like this, since the man is basically a stranger, but he can't help it. "What did we ever do to them?" he asks nobody in particular, wiping his nose on his sleeve before he realizes his mistake and freezes. He had said it quietly, but he had said it loud enough for Bucky to hear, and his heart stops. He feels like a deer caught in the headlights, he can't move, he can't speak, he just stands there hoping desperately that maybe Bucky didn't hear, or if he did, he won't give him away. "I- I mean- I-"